Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize