Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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