Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
