i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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