Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
