Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
