So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
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I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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