Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
