Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
