Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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