so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
