If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol