Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
10 Things Your Gyno Wants You To Stop Doing To Your Vagina
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
For Some Reason, Boys Are Singing The ‘Halo’ Theme Song In School Bathrooms
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.