Texts From Last Night

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  (618): View more from Illinois

  here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...

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  (618): here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco... http://tfl.nu/ll6l
  Replies (37) Good night (3768) Bad night (1046)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  can you blame him?

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT

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  (226): can you blame him? (519): i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT http://tfl.nu/oyzm
  Replies (46) Good night (1622) Bad night (6713)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.

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  (662): Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God. http://tfl.nu/m55y
  Replies (34) Good night (4076) Bad night (2035)
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  (510): View more from California

  im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.

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  (510): im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife. http://tfl.nu/itl3
  Replies (10) Good night (3749) Bad night (955)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.

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  (678): he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy. http://tfl.nu/gv2k
  Replies (14) Good night (719) Bad night (5125)
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  (714): View more from California

  He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher

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  (714): He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher http://tfl.nu/npc9
  Replies (21) Good night (1189) Bad night (6547)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.

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  (417): Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever. http://tfl.nu/md7w
  Replies (30) Good night (12291) Bad night (1284)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.

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  (586): You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you. http://tfl.nu/lwwd
  Replies (6) Good night (4156) Bad night (1119)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.

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  (309): don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia. http://tfl.nu/2ibq
  Replies (6) Good night (1950) Bad night (1015)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.

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  (404): Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent. http://tfl.nu/9bag
  Replies (5) Good night (1259) Bad night (553)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting

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  (423): Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting http://tfl.nu/waaj
  Replies (2) Good night (781) Bad night (384)
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  (760): View more from California

  EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.

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  (760): EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney. http://tfl.nu/xmac
  Replies (5) Good night (498) Bad night (380)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.

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  (563): Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful. http://tfl.nu/zyvu
  Replies (2) Good night (643) Bad night (230)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.

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  (407): I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober. http://tfl.nu/la4k
  Replies (5) Good night (815) Bad night (270)
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  (714): View more from California

  I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.

  (1-714): View more from California

  DAD WTF

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  (714): I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning. (1-714): DAD WTF http://tfl.nu/ld6i
  Replies (3) Good night (362) Bad night (514)

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