Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
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My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.