I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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