dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
