sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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