How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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