Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
19 Teachers Share the Funniest Items Brought to “Show and Tell”
I just googled if crying burns calories
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.