Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  how hairy? two words: wookie tits

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  (415): how hairy? two words: wookie tits http://tfl.nu/0tmt
  Replies (32) Good night (677) Bad night (5719)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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  (201): You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!" http://tfl.nu/rb09
  Replies (23) Good night (11581) Bad night (967)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

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  (810): I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again http://tfl.nu/a301
  Replies (7) Good night (3557) Bad night (1358)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.

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  (407): Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go. http://tfl.nu/d64s
  Replies (10) Good night (4226) Bad night (903)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I won't be sarcastic... just naked

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  (757): I won't be sarcastic... just naked http://tfl.nu/3vff
  Replies (6) Good night (4766) Bad night (860)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable

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  (425): Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable http://tfl.nu/av4s
  Replies (8) Good night (3036) Bad night (760)
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  (925): View more from California

  Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.

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  (925): Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis. http://tfl.nu/pfu8
  Replies (13) Good night (1308) Bad night (679)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister

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  (615): you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister http://tfl.nu/7nfq
  Replies (11) Good night (2040) Bad night (624)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.

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  (317): It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion. http://tfl.nu/z4as
  Replies (5) Good night (1002) Bad night (570)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.

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  (607): I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs. http://tfl.nu/nmbl
  Replies (4) Good night (893) Bad night (353)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.

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  (519): Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth. http://tfl.nu/ne7c
  Replies (5) Good night (677) Bad night (366)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?

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  (315): Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal? http://tfl.nu/b8jf
  Replies (16) Good night (1003) Bad night (348)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it

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  (505): Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it http://tfl.nu/hkkt
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (470)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..

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  (620): I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life.. http://tfl.nu/aqyo
  Replies (3) Good night (490) Bad night (245)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs

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  (+61): i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs http://tfl.nu/4xpf
  Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (220)

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