he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
