My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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