He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
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At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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