Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
