He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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