Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
