I wanna bring you to show and tell
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
