I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT