Texts From Last Night

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.

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  (765): i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER. http://tfl.nu/2z74
  Replies (25) Good night (6377) Bad night (1056)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods

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  (706): They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods http://tfl.nu/a68f
  Replies (13) Good night (7083) Bad night (1206)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now

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  (702): Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now http://tfl.nu/aoyo
  Replies (22) Good night (4558) Bad night (948)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already

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  (508): I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already http://tfl.nu/v6oe
  Replies (25) Good night (3908) Bad night (1178)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.

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  (336): I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked. http://tfl.nu/3p22
  Replies (12) Good night (2935) Bad night (725)
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  (+82): View more from South Korea

  I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.

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  (+82): I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea. http://tfl.nu/vo0h
  Replies (13) Good night (2100) Bad night (748)
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  (916): View more from California

  If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present

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  (916): If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present http://tfl.nu/3ku6
  Replies (2) Good night (1329) Bad night (576)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours

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  (203): I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours http://tfl.nu/8ktt
  Replies (9) Good night (1840) Bad night (581)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.

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  (860): Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination. http://tfl.nu/sipx
  Replies (8) Good night (755) Bad night (409)
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  (650): View more from California

  I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.

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  (650): I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me. http://tfl.nu/3m36
  Replies (3) Good night (391) Bad night (720)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.

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  (+44): Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread. http://tfl.nu/ub9a
  Replies (4) Good night (695) Bad night (281)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days

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  (815): he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days http://tfl.nu/euqv
  Replies (1) Good night (333) Bad night (535)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"

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  (407): I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse" http://tfl.nu/14wb
  Replies (2) Good night (352) Bad night (700)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.

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  (416): This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic. http://tfl.nu/tsif
  Replies (6) Good night (747) Bad night (375)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.

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  (540): I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being. http://tfl.nu/xpnl
  Replies (1) Good night (282) Bad night (573)

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