There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend