Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness

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  (513): did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness http://tfl.nu/hxgt
  Replies (70) Good night (928) Bad night (5562)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.

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  (623): My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck. http://tfl.nu/ymmz
  Replies (24) Good night (4350) Bad night (2138)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  i came on her dog

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  (504): i came on her dog http://tfl.nu/ocp2
  Replies (45) Good night (2215) Bad night (6753)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.

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  (252): Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me. http://tfl.nu/r53x
  Replies (5) Good night (3643) Bad night (927)
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  (661): View more from California

  I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.

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  (661): I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle. http://tfl.nu/b1qz
  Replies (5) Good night (1060) Bad night (2317)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?

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  (361): Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home? http://tfl.nu/3vxh
  Replies (2) Good night (2462) Bad night (805)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.

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  (602): I am NOT getting arrested in a wig. http://tfl.nu/5nul
  Replies (15) Good night (2570) Bad night (983)
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  (587): View more from Alberta

  Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap

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  (587): Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap http://tfl.nu/qxhg
  Replies (10) Good night (3060) Bad night (910)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".

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  (570): Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me". http://tfl.nu/8pyn
  Replies (10) Good night (4087) Bad night (572)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET

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  (425): Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET http://tfl.nu/8n1t
  Replies (5) Good night (864) Bad night (425)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.

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  (920): These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice. http://tfl.nu/xvwn
  Replies (0) Good night (649) Bad night (267)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.

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  (215): I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that. http://tfl.nu/79sp
  Replies (5) Good night (841) Bad night (226)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.

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  (317): This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3. http://tfl.nu/b4xj
  Replies (2) Good night (692) Bad night (403)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital

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  (613): Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital http://tfl.nu/nh6p
  Replies (8) Good night (1475) Bad night (322)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know

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  (410): I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know http://tfl.nu/wl8q
  Replies (3) Good night (487) Bad night (217)

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