hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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