great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize