...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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