We're facebook friends in real life
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
