This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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