How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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