Hey man sorry I got all grabby
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize