he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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