i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
