she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
