I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize