I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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