I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
