This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
