Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
