she smelled like a LAN party
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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