You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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