When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
