Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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