His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
