Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
