This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
