she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Houston, we have a squirter
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
the liver wants what the liver wants
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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