how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
