He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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