I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
