just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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