I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I think your dad took our porno
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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