I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
