Kiss
Puke
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
