yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i think my cat just said my name.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
