i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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