That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize