Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
