dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
