i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
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