Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
