i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
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